hey grass
idk if it's just me
but I really miss last year's journalism class
i'm scrolling through the old group and it's just so naice and relaxed and chill and "can I have an extra article" type instead of reminders and ideas and random likes and crap and it's all nice crap but not as nice as last year
and i just really miss last year's staff
like
a lot
crey

when 5 strikes

I know I won't get it,
and yet I am pursuing it.
I know the things I do are pointless,
and yet I still do them.
I know the things I say that no one will listen,
and yet I still say them.
I know the things I write are crappy,
and yet I still write them.
I know improvement does not matter,
and yet I would still like to improve.
I know that motivation is limited,
and yet I would like to see them motivated.
I know they don't get me,
and yet I wish they could.
I know I don't talk a lot there,
and yet I wish I could talk with them about everything.
I know it's going to hurt at the end,
and yet I am bringing myself there.
I know it will be embarrassing,
and yet I will still do it.
I know I will freeze in the middle of my presentation,
and yet I will still finish.
I know no one cares,
and yet I still wish they did.
I know when the names are announces I will want to run to the other end of the world,
and yet I will still listen.
I know when she gets it and I don't, I will hug her,
and yet I will feel second.
I know when reality strikes I will cry,
and yet I will still let reality hit me.
I know I need to readjust my motives,
and yet this does not leave my mind.
I know failure awaits we at the end,
and yet I still strive for this.
I know it I know it I know it so well.
I know it I know it inside and out.
I know it because it's played in my mind 529483570 times.
I know it because that's how society works.
I know it I know it I know it so well.
AndyetIknowthereissuchathingcalledhopeandthatiswhatIamholdingonto.

i pretend to go take a dump just to get away from my psychopathic mother
and i really really wanted a new phone today
but of course the deal was only for yesterday
so therefore it was not free today
so therefore i did not get it
and i don't even know why i'm like sad
i have a perfectly wonderful phone
but i guess i was just really looking forward to it
i sound so pathetic
but this was literally one of the happiest moments of my break
and i guess
i just built it up
in my head
that i would have something to actually do
to actually think about

i sleep to escape reality
i sleep so much

hey grass,
hey. i hope you're okay. i know you've been online today and stuff. but then not really. hope your sat score is what you want it to be?
does this make sense
not really
w/e
garlic

deep doughts

Growing older causes me to grow afraid of the world's opinion. A fear crushing my beliefs, a penchant for acceptance, a distant feel toward the explicit. A fear of losing the love of those around you, a fear of losing the hellos and goodbyes, a fear of losing your grip on the rock, where the prize stands alone at the top. Over and over this happens, but I must always remind myself that my identity does not reside in the world or any of its entities, but that my identity resides in Christ  -garlic

Conflicts, conflicts

A world
A country
A state
A city
A population
A neighborhood
A street
A house
A family
A person
A heart

-garlic

what's up my homies
my brothas from anotha motha

that's right

we're all sisters here
or brothas

no discrimination
cause hate is bad and it's a sin
the bible told me so

so why we be hating on them gays? let them love who they want and marry if they want to
why can't we all just love each other?

and no, i totally did not change my almost homophobia to accepting gay rights because of modern family
no, cam and mitchell didn't influence me at all

-grass