Man, college is harda

So grass came over to visit me at uc broccoli (say it with asian accent forreal it's perf) last week and yeah.  I really miss her.
I miss grass because she's so like damning with her perspective sometimes and it brings you back to reality. Oh, and also looking through photo galleries from around the world. Reminds you how limited and small your world is. Really helps with adjusting perspective.

Man, college is hard!
Like the work is exhausting at times, but just being here is like, woah, I have to take care of myself. For the first time. What the heck?!?!

Anyway, I think I've been holding a better perspective this week. College was pretty tough for me 1/2 of semester because I didn't really find friends, roommate irritated me easily, and I was just, not happy, to be at Berkeley.

And it's funny, because I'm stuck with these same issues, but I don't let them get to me. Sunday Service was so good! Sometimes the words really just beat up the inside of your heart. It's crazy, crazy. The message was on acceptance/power/authority, and how we are all seeking some kind of love/acceptance and how we're all prideful/self-righteous. I think I've been acting that way with my roommate, criticizing every little thing she did. So badly my flesh wants to point out every little thing she does, but at service just felt incredibly convicted for craving into my flesh. Ever since then, my relationship with her has improved, I think. I think?? Or maybe it's because of a different perspective. I don't know God enough.

I haven't joined any clubs yet, but I'm so pumped for Tuesday! Laundry Love! They only meet once a month, but I'm so excited to finally go to their meeting since I missed the September one.

I'll be staying up late tonight, until I can just exhaust it out on Friday night. I think I'm going to say hello to my bed at around 9pm that day. seriously.

I just realized my username is from 9th/10th grade? Don't remember when I made it, but I wanted to start an anti-human trafficking blog and thought that would be the perfect name, "Broken People Broken Dreams." It's kind of funny how I ironically thought that only those stuck in human trafficking were broken. Like I didn't see the brokenness inside myself until coming to Berkeley. I didn't realize how broken and hurt and unsatisfied and thirsting for power/acceptance I was until I came into God's presence, and saw all of that. Really I think for me, this is just a season of healing. A season of just learning to love. Learning to love. and it's the freaking hardest thing ever I think. But at the same time it's the most powerful.

So that's my one goal this semester: to learn how to love.
oh and also no more fried foods. I feel sick after filling myself up with waffle fries and sriracha. It is amazing, but ugh. ughhhhhhhhhhhh