Cherished Thoughts

Wise words from one of my favorite Tumblr blogs, writingsforwinter. I cried while reading this.

Anonymous: I think i am going to kill myself tonight. 

Listen to me. I can’t make you stay but I can tell you what you might miss. There are so many good things if you look hard enough for them. There’s always darkness but if there’s darkness then there has to be light, too. You can’t have one thing without the other.
My uncle died of brain cancer almost a year ago. He could have undergone chemotherapy but he chose not to because he knew he would die anyway.
My uncle did not have a choice about whether or not he would die.
You do.
I know this sadness shakes you up, it fucks you up inside, and you feel like a broken windowpane. Windowpanes can be replaced.
You can’t be.
I don’t know how old you are or your gender or your sexuality or your life history. But if you kill yourself you are removing one precious human life from this world. Someone thinks about you every night. Every goddamn night. Now let’s pretend they think about you five minutes each night. You take that number and you multiply it by the number of days in a year, and that’s a whole lotta goddamn minutes they spend thinking about you.
You’re worth it to someone. Not just you, not just who you are or what you say or what you look like, but your life. Your life is worth it to them.
And let me tell you something. Your life is worth it to me, too. Otherwise I would not be writing you this. Think of everything that’s out there-road trips, lazy Sunday mornings in bed, hot chocolate on cold winter nights, graduation, college, marriages, kids, grandchildren, growing old with the one you love. That’s a lot to miss.
Things can change. This can change. This will change. Sadness does not last forever.
I read a quote once, and I don’t remember where it was from, but it said that over 90% of people who have jumped off a bridge (Golden Gate, Brooklyn, whichever) trying to kill themselves, and they survived, said that in the exact moment their feet left the bridge they regretted it. They regretted it in that split second.
A spit second can be enough to change your mind. Those people survived, and you know what? I’ve read so many stories about failed suicides who said they are glad they did not kill themselves. Because they would have missed out on so much.
You’re not selfish in any way to want to kill yourself. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that. You are not a coward.
But what you are is a beautiful, unique, aching person who’s got a pretty damn big heart, and I know that because you showed me that. You showed me that by writing to me and I know your heart wants you to tell someone; I know your heart wants to let this out and it wants help.
Don’t let that heart stop beating tonight.
Or tomorrow night. Or the night after that. Or the next night and the next night and the next night and all the nights to come.
This is the biggest choice of your life. And that life is a precious thing.
Please don’t end it.