analysis of recent grassy feels

A detailed analysis as to why I feel so downtrodden these days:

Possible hypotheses:

• father is on business trip
• chem grade
• stress from sat + chem + badminton

Hypothesis:

• combined factors of the above three

Observations:

• obsession with checking School Loop
• frantic studying for Organic Chem
• repeated thoughts of failure
• whimsical thoughts of philosophy and the purpose of life
• hatred towards idiotic individuals
• exasperation with people
• jealousy of carefree people
• obsessive calculations of grades

Possible Solutions:

• after Friday, my life will be ok again
• unless I fail
• only time
• TIME
• IS
• PRICELESSSSSSSSSSS
• communication with family + friends
• i miss my dad
• why do i miss him so much?
• i don't know he just went to korea and i didn't miss him at all lolz maybe because that time I was doing very poorly oh RIGHT I JUST GOT MY SAT SCORE AND WAS TOO ENGULFED IN MY OWN GRIEF
• time management!

Things to remember:

• there are people who love me
• right garlic right
• you do right
• grades aren't everything
• if i get a mediocre grade i will still live
• i will just have to settle for ohlone
• no stop
• stop living in the past
• stop daydreaming
• stop living vicariously
• make the most of life
• make time for yoga, it'll help with efficiency
• remember that God has a plan for me
• maybe it doesn't involve going to premed at Brown
• just remember that He is always there
• thanks God
• i don't know i've been praying for a sign that you simply exist and maybe (i apologize for the qualifier but i am still unsure) maybe you already gave me the sign
• normally i don't walk that way but I met the Cheese and went to Youth Alive and just
• lately i've been doubting everything again
• but I feel like after going I am back on the right track
• anyway just thanks, God
• expressing my thanks through the interwebz
• in case my thoughts aren't always on the right track
• ok i'm sorry
• I don't know why i feel so lonely when I'm so fortunate
• I guess opportunities also come with standards, ya know?

It's almost friday.

TGIF.

-grass

#sadness

#moue
#rue
#junior year is NOT overrated
#it really is hell


-grass

hi

annoyed

i did not think i would be annoyed
but i am
i am very annoyed
yes
very annoyed
i just want to glare at her annoyed because i'm too tired to do anything else
but yes her attitude is infuriating

Call me a hypocrite, but I am in love.

Oh yes, I have all the symptoms.

• pupil dilation
• heart racing
• uncontrollable laughter
• non stop smiling
• incessant thoughts
• willingness to give up everything 

Call me crazy, call me foolish, but young love is still love.

Oh Big Bang Theory, how i love thee.

-grass

facebook

 i do not like facebook. i was looking through my friends list today and realized i do not even say hello to 5/6 of the people on there. i started deleted people...and it felt good. it felt so good. i didn't feel like i was cutting off a relationship. i felt like it was a new start.yeah. that i can get to know a person for who he or she actually is. to know a person for who he or she actually is. not through facebook statuses and instagram photos. -garlic

addressing the problem

sorry i've been away, reader of one.
i've been living in the world of kdramas. you see, it's a pretty heartless world. it takes away your time and reality, but after you're done, you don't feel that great. you just feel like your wasted time. the only exception is city hunter.

so i know i have a problem. and i'm going to try to address it and fix it.

problem:
i watch too much kdrama

reasons i watch:
i like it

why do i like it:
it's nice to watch people falling in love

why is it nice to watch people falling in love:
-my parents are not very loving to each other
-i don't see a lot of love in my life

why don't you see a lot of love in your life:
-maybe i watch to ignore the pain of absence of love in some parts of my life

what parts are these:
-friends
-childhood

why friends:
i wish i could become friends with some people but i think it's hopeless i'm just not good at making friends

why childhood:
when i was really young i had a crush on someone and then my best friend ended up liking him and they went out
i think i was probably really heartbroken at the time
i don't really remember anymore...perhaps why i watch a lot of drama

outcome:
it's pretty sad if this is the truth

what will i do about it:
i cannot tell myself to stop watching, it does not work

what else then:
i think i need to ask God for help
i think i need to forgive people from my childhood
i think i need a reality check

good job self
i think you solved the problem

improvement starts in the morning
1/1/2013
because you are worth more than actors and actresses on the screen who look so dumb forrealz and at one point you don't even know why you're watching
unless it's city hunter
-garlic