Life goes on?

sometimes it's so hard to believe charlie fink 

i don't know why i'm crying so hard
actually, i do know
after going on facebook and seeing garlic's status i just broke down once more
it sums everything up perfectly

they are so young
they are so young

they're in a better place now and i pray for them, their families, and everyone affected by that

but not just them

my heart also goes out towards the other troubled people out there who have started this frenzy of mass shooting incidents

there are other ways

or just take my one life but please
don't do a mass shooting
ever again

-weeping grass

hard to believe it's almost christmas
another year come and gone
next year at this time, we'll be the ones receiving college admission results
we'll be the ones laughing / crying
can you believe it?

i deleted my tumblr today
i feel as if doing that was a necessary step towards self growth

i feel happy

back to chem

-grass

dang it why am i always invisible
it's not like i even try

all.the.time.
friends
church
chinese school

it shouldn't matter but it still hurts
why

idk just want to go to college and get some real friends ya know

like friends who don't care about grades 24/7

who don't stress about everything and anything

who don't always compare themselves to me like seroiusly can you stop we are different people with different interests

this isn't about you garlic u da best

like u r an ideal friend

i could use you in the ideal gas law

harhar

but seirously sometimes thsi life is just so 

i mean i am so grateful i have this wonderful and blessed life

but it does come with these horrible side effects

hey sorry

hey sorry for being a poophead and not talking to you
now i think about the "i'm tired" thing is an excuse
truth is i feel really poopy inside and if i tell you i'm afraid i'll sound like an a-hole
and i don't want to talk during advisory and just turn it into gossip
i just
i just want to talk

sleep

it's such a crazy thing how we need sleep for the human body to function
i mean
isn't it amazing how we were created to need a certain amount of rest in order to function well?

I love sleep
i don't have to think
i don't have to do anything
the security of my fluffy blankets
warmth overflowing from my body
i think i could sleep for 100 years
then maybe I would wake up and see how messed up the world has become

i guess even if we think it's never going to happen
even if the chances are next to none
it's still important to try

there is the cliched, but ultimately true (as all cliches basically are), phrase saying that you will never know if you don't try

i can't stand not knowing

but would i be able to stand failure

life isn't fair
but why can't it be unfair in my favor

what have i done that was so drastically wrong that everything is against me?

i pray i do my work i laugh i love 

but nothing is enough

-grass
it's raining, and i'm growing